LonelinessEN

Between these four walls painted in azure blue, sitting on a rough wooden floor and soaked by the permanent lack of cleanliness, despite the existence of a tanned leather armchair, one of those that the cool ones display in their large living rooms, very uncomfortable. It was bought in a used store weeks ago, poor thing.I don't care, I don't care. I only think about taking my own life, but I am so cowardly that I don't even have the courage to perform such a feat. I turned off the black plastic nozzle lamp, typical of those who are unable to hang a good chandelier on the ceiling.Or even a decent lining to avoid the dirt caused by the dust falling from the clay tiles. These drugs live full of spider webs, spread like a plague throughout the environment. It is a real disgust. In this dark room of just eight square meters, it is difficult to define whether it is day or night outside.I hear only the sound of the songs played in the corner bars and a rich symphony

But damn all these idiot fanatics, who orders not to get to know the God they claim to serve better? What I really need is to think about this chaotic situation in which I find myself, alone in this dark room. I can't stand the light in my eyes, tired from looking at nothing that insists on standing before me like a false mirage. I don't know whether or not I deserve to go through all this depression. Given this, I only understand that I was born to suffer the rejection of everyone I love. The worst thing is that I loved so many times and was little loved, terrible has been the result of my efforts in trying to fulfill myself in love. How many couples are not together in their beds right now, enjoying each other, feeling the heat of their bodies that heat each other, increasing the fire of passion that unites them? In this cold dawn I am forced to endure the idea that I am unlucky, my fate is total isolation.I am depressed, bitter to the extreme, my heart is cru

It is so sad, bothering my soul tired of chasing after peace and rest. There are so many disappointments, failures, negative results of an unsuccessful search. My days are eternal hours of suffering and discontent, I feel powerless to believe in a better future.I look like someone who has been dead for a long time, but insists on walking among the living, even without life. I am like a dry tree, without roots, leaves and fruits. I am like a straw that burns and turns to ashes, blown afterwards by the strong winds that arise from the four corners of the earth.Throwing all my little, almost imperceptible particles into the air. I feel a lump in my throat, a tightness in my chest and a sour taste in my mouth. This lonely way of living is slowly killing me like cancer in my bones. My blood circulates through my cold veins.It is propelled slowly by my body as if it is giving up to keep me alive. A deep revolt burns in me that undoes the few perspectives that I sti

Mercy, my God, where are we going to stop like that? All truck drivers in the country went on strike indefinitely, they demand the removal of heavy taxes imposed by the government on the category or otherwise they will remain with their arms crossed. As I hardly watch television I was completely unaware of what is happening outside that damn neighborhood. It is already on the second day of the strike and the whole nation is already beginning to feel the negative reflexes of the absence of these professionals.We sometimes overlook this class of workers, but it is at that time that we see the great importance they have for the perfect commercial functioning of the entire country. The news doesn't talk about anything else. It started to lack everything in fairs, distribution centers and also in supermarkets. Gas stations are running out of stock and within a few hours vehicles will stop circulating. The queues are already immense looking for gasoline and diesel which, due to th

Someone knocks on my door, who can it be at this hour? Well, better to take care with caution, after all, here death is prowling the houses and staggering through the streets after anyone who can swallow. There is a knock at the door, who will it be? — Yeah, good night — Good night, neighbor, I was told to deliver this. — Right, thanks. It’s the Blond devil, a kid here on the street. They call him that around here, due to the sunburned hair. Praga has dark skin and yellow hair. Where have you seen that, a blond black man? It can only be called a devil. He brought me an envelope, it seems to have a card inside, better to open it — But what the hell is this, an invitation? — Now this one, since when did you invite me to something here? Let me see, it says here that I'm being invited to a fifteen year old party. And it will be tomorrow at Dona Vera's residence. But what a great slut this is, why the

This morning I woke up more lucid, calm and satisfied with myself, feeling good about life and with an immense desire to go around to disappear a little. What is happening, is it still the result of the sudden change that came over me that weekend, when I went to Priscila's birthday, that monument to Dona Vera's granddaughter?I believe so, since that night I started to feel different. Much less stressed and with a better view of life and everything around me. I even considered running the risk of falling in love again.  Now, look, who would have thought that I could think about such a thing again.It is wonderful, when we are at peace with our inner selves, we find reasons to live and seek happiness without pessimism and we believe in better days again. I intend to continue with this optimism, because it does me good - Wow, the sun is very hot and not even a cloud laden with water! — This is new here, because the rains are constant. In the Amazon it rains a

Today it is ninety days that I do not drink any type of alcoholic drink, it has not been easy to resist the constant desire that I feel to drown again in drunkenness, but I have managed to be strong and resist temptation. I need to achieve my purpose, which is to recover my physical form as soon as possible, in order to return to that den of prostitution and ask for rematch from that unfortunate woman who mocked me in bed.I can't wait to have the chance to invade that hot body again and feel it vibrate inside, only with more lust not to make it ugly again. I don't even like to think about that ridiculous moment that I went through, I fell in the first round and I couldn't get up anymore, I was knocked out well before I delivered a single straight hit to the opponent.I made a fool of myself for not having stopped before to better analyze my current situation. How to face a woman like that in bed after years of masturbation alone? Yes, it is the purest truth, since I t