Perfect Specimen

"He uses a superb smile as a shield; he attacks, he is afraid, and he wants to instill fear. Terrified, he actually pretends to be the one who makes others flee."

...

I already feel the sweat running through the lines of my palms, a slight tremor in my legs, my heart beats in anticipation. I need the job, I need money, it would be unfortunate not to stay there. I've already been waiting for ten minutes. I poke my head out again, the hallway is desolate.

I cover my face, sigh for the fifth time. Subtle voice brings me out of my mental confinement and I raise my head finding the owner. It's the same woman who welcomed me, she wears an apron, a bow on her head. The appearance of a maid, I guess I'm seeing my reflection that will be me in a matter of minutes. But not everything has been said, I must wait for the last word.

"Young, Viscardi, follow me, please..." She communicates kindly, which encourages me to leave my place and stand up.

I follow her at the same time, I don't know where she takes me. The mansion is splendid, luxurious and steals my attention during the trip. It is impossible not to notice the gold details, there is a kind of sumptuous atmosphere that captivates, it is a magnet; it is all that is far from many, and few are the lucky ones. I smile when she suddenly looks at me, she stops in front of a dark door.

“It's here, Aryanna, try not to be indiscreet or ask unexpected questions. I have a good feeling about you, the boss can be difficult, good luck” she adds in a hurry, I no longer feel so confident about turning that handle.

“OK” almost inaudible whisper.

She has already left immediately, leaving me alone, in a strange predicament that winds in a spiral of fears within me. I no longer have the conviction that I can handle this, how difficult is Mr. De Castelbajac? I have always escaped from the type of complex or complicated people, now it seems that I will enter the ambush.

“It's now or never” The moment I set foot inside what seems to me like a dark and cold office, my heart jumps in its ribcage, I have it in my fist. I'm still breathing, but getting oxygen into my system has already become a superficial activity. My lungs devour the air in a flash and I feel suffocated.

I have never experienced a moment of tension equal to this one, it borders on anguish, it makes me synonymous with weakness. I finish entering, I close the door quietly. I feel this need not to cause noise, and anyway he will know that I have arrived. That guy labeled "difficult" has his back turned, while he studies a book on his bookshelf. On his desk lies a closed laptop, also a Mac, several scattered papers, and a phone. My curious gaze flies to the painting on the wall to my left, it is a photo of a man with a naked torso, it is like a professional model that exhibits the manly characteristics of the specimen dreamed of by any woman.

My mouth goes dry, my pulse skyrockets, but I manage to stay sane.

"Good morning, Mr. De Castelbajac" I greet with the little air that circulates in me.

He doesn't turn around, he continues doing his thing. Judging by your ignorance, I think you are deaf. I try to be calm, especially patient. Have I spoken in a very low tone?

“Good morning, I have arrived by...”

"I know what you've come for, there's no need for you to repeat things to me again" He finally faces me and I think I'm going to fall to the ground.

But why this hostile attitude?

He has a royal blue shirt that accentuates his blue orbs, and now his hands are stuck in the pockets of those tailored pants. He evaluates me, I can't handle that much. I swallow hard.

"It's just..." I try to put together another word, but it's difficult for me to speak.

His eyes exude a certain power that absorbs me, I barely exist, the little that remains of me is trapped in restlessness. I not only surrender to shyness, but also to the nervousness that drives every fiber of my being crazy. That man's gaze is powerful and puts me in a place that would crush anyone. I avoid eye contact, something prevents me from being able to sustain the connection.

"You hasn't even knocked on the door, but let's get to the point" he says, taking a seat.

It is true that I have not played, and I am forced to apologize. I hope this is not a start on the wrong foot. Should I sit down? I don't know if I should ask him, he looks at me and raises an eyebrow. I sit down, wait for him to start talking. He opens the laptop, starts dialing on the keyboard, I get lost in the sound his fingers make as they touch each key. I remain silent, I take advantage of the fact that he is immersed in the screen, silent and I study the interior where I am. Among the things, a set of sofas stands out, accompanied by the coffee table on which not a single object lies. I spot a minibar, and leave the study, turning my eyes to it.

I fear you have caught me in a poorly concealed scrutiny.

“I'm sorry” Suddenly he stops typing and puts his fingertips together, while resting his elbows on the desk. It is an act that transmits a certain dominance to me. What the hell is it about that makes me feel this way?

“¿Are you Aryanna Viscardi?” He asks me to check it and I nod “¿Why are you here?”

I narrow my eyes, confused. Has he forgotten that I came for work? I change my expression when I remember that you asked the question to explain or talk about me. Although that is not pleasant to me, I have nothing interesting to say.

“I need the job, only then will I be able to help mom with the house expenses...”

“Economic problems” he interrupts me, revealing the sad reality in which I find myself. He doesn't insert a single iota of emotion into his voice.

"Yes" I say softly.

"You have the job, Viscardi" he announces and I look up in surprise.

Just like that? I can not believe it. I want to jump for joy, I thought he would ask more questions, but it's over and I can breathe a sigh of relief.

"Thank you, seriously, you don't know how happy it makes me to know that I have the job" I say, it is inevitable not to express those words.

And his face remains serious, no light crosses his features, not even the hint of a smile. I clear my throat embarrassed and stand up. I must be careful with Mr.... ice, he is one of those who does not approach the sun, so as not to be overcome by its heat. Does not show emotion, or keeps them away from strangers. That's what I am for Silvain, excessively handsome, and a secretive man whom I'm just beginning to get to know.

"Well, come tomorrow, this is your schedule" he declares, it is a demand and I take the sheet that he hands me “I do not tolerate non-compliance of any kind” he emphasizes.

I agree with everything he says.

“OK”

"You can leave now" he declares, revealing a closed-lipped smile, it's not real.

It remains meticulously forced when reciprocating or attempting to give some sincerity.

“Again, thank you very much. See you soon” I seal the dismissal by extending a hand, but he leaves it outstretched with a disdainful gesture. Distressed by the contempt, I leave the place before he tells me to leave his office again.

On the outside I release the trapped air, I regain control. The shame has passed, the inner nervousness, the weakness disappears from my extremities. I can't believe he didn't take my hand that was disrespectful of him. I snort. I am able to walk down the hallway, it was less than ten minutes in his office, but it was enough for that guy to reveal his contemptuous personality that subjugates anyone.

Just as I cross the hallway, the woman from earlier intercepts me.

“¿How has everything turned out?” She wants to know.

"Well, he gave me the job" I declare.

“¿Oh, it means its official, you'll be my partner ¿Has he given you the schedule?” She finds out, fixing her eyes on the sheet I'm holding.

"That's right" I show it to the black-haired girl.

“¿Then see you tomorrow, hasn't he given you other instructions?” She formulates, frowning.

“Not only this ¿Is there anything else I should know?” I see the need to ask.

“Yes, in fact he should have told you, I'm surprised he didn't, the employees stay here, many of us live far from home, so a place here helps us ¿Do you live far from this area?”

“No, I live in the center of the city, maybe that's why he hasn't mentioned it” I talk, I'm tempted to ask about that Silvain's behavior with me, but I bite my tongue. There are things that cannot be said openly, and it is not the right time to bring them up.

“I understand, I won't take up any more of your time, I hope to see you tomorrow, please stick to the schedule, only then can I assure you that everything will be fine”

“Okay, I guess you will help me a little by giving me the homework and...”

“Yes, it's not that difficult, but I'll help you, darling. I can't keep talking, I still have things to do”

“Alright, see you later”

“Yes, let me guide you to the exit” That way I am once again directed by her. Once outside I walk on the cobblestone path, I stop for a moment to observe the attractive gardens of the property. In the middle of spring they couldn't be more beautiful than now. There is a fountain located in the center, on the sides nicknamed plants and flowers everywhere. It is a perfect, beautiful and captivating facade. The truth is that my boss's style differs, he is not one of those that I imagine traveling around these parts and giving even a minute to contemplate the beauty of this equinox. However, I still don't know him better, you can't judge a man by what he lets on, what he doesn't notice, or what he encapsulates, his reality. Although I perceive that there is none in him.

I shake my head.

“When did my mind spend so much time thinking about it?”

...

I take the bus, in my situation it is not an option to save even the smallest cent. All the way back home I put on my headphones and let myself be carried away by the music. From time to time my eyes are directed to that leaf. I haven't paid much attention to the schedule, and I must adjust to it. A woman stands next to me, she carries her baby on her lap, she can't be more than two years old. I find her flirty and sweet when she extends her hand towards me and smiles. At some point in my life I thought about being a nanny, but the first thing that came along was serving in the home of a millionaire man, and I couldn't wait any longer.

And that little girl reminds me of my little sister, maybe that's why I feel a lump in my throat again and I have to blink away the tears.

The woman gets off soon and the place next to me is empty again. I'm the next to ask for the stop. I stay a few blocks from home. The remaining steps I'm thinking about mom, I know she'll be happy. I'm dying to see your expression, this will be a ray of light among so much darkness. I put the key in the lock and go inside. I still remember when I was healthy and I told him of my return. He used to come out of the kitchen and announce that he was making something delicious. A little tear comes out of my eye and with that the memories fall like a curtain that reveals the present; The yesteryear is now only ephemeral. I advance to the second floor, I know it must be in the room, withered and desolate. It saddens me to witness the depressive cloud, a situation in which he and my four-year-old little sister have been trapped since Dad died.

The photos hanging on the hallway wall are memories that hurt, daggers that stab the heart, there is no cure, there is no incentive to calm the burning. I have not had the courage to collect them and put them in a box, that would somehow be throwing unforgettable moments into oblivion and I will never stop thinking about them. They left too soon, and I must live with that absence for the rest of my life.