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That saying, the right hand doesn't see what the left does", must be followed literally on the streets, if you want to stay alive
You have to keep in mind that, a homeless person, has nowhere to go back, no way to hide himself, and if he says or does something “wrong” he is easy prey, for all kinds of enemies.
As a homeless person, you are subject to attack, both from the “good” and the “bad”, so you are the most fragile being, in a way.
You're invisible to the naked eye when it comes to supporting you, but it's pretty visible if you do whatever the slightest thing others want with all your might to label you as something.
Being homeless is being emotionally, physically, intellectually and financially naked in front of everyone and without support.
It's being called crazy for eating junk food, even though everyone knows you have nothing else to eat.
It's being treated like a drug addict, even though everyone knows you don't use anything.
And whoever treats you well will be frowned upon by others, as he is talking to an outcast.
Being homeless is waking up in the morning, with an empty stomach, in pain, after sleeping for three or four hours only, without being able to complain.
Being homeless is not having anyone to talk to.
And if you talk to yourself, to hear someone's voice, you'll be called crazy, by someone who ignores you all the time, because you talk to yourself.
Being homeless and seeing another person's child, one year and eight months old, spend the entire night varying with a fever and asking for bread (that good old French bread), and at dawn go out and ask for bread at the bakery and the bakery owner denies you and calls you stinky and sends you out of his bakery.
To be a homeless person is to see the bakery owner deny a twenty-five-cent loaf of bread to a hungry child, and even say, this rubbish keeps pissing off.
Being homeless is to see a prostitute in an upscale neighborhood, with a ten-year-old daughter, who delivers the girl, for ten reais, to a pedophile, and thinks it's normal.
Knowing that she has an apartment there, conquering the base of prostitution, and having to shut up, because if the police are going to say that you invented everything and that that mother is a great person, and that the prostitute is you.
Being homeless is seeing a mother deliver a ten-year-old child to strangers who found the child beautiful and want to “adopt” the child.
And you see the child saying goodbye to the mother and brothers and leaving, and the mother saying:
What a good son, if you go to their house, at least you will have something to eat and a place to sleep.
And you ask yourself intimately, is it?
Will they treat the child well, will he be happy.
But he cannot comment, because the law of the street is everyone for himself and God for everyone.
Although it hurts the scene a lot, inside you.
But giving an opinion, how, if you don't even have enough to eat, to raise questions to these parents?
'Being a homeless person is catching yourself crying with the pain of someone else's child, without being able to do anything about it, it is having your hands and feet tied to everything, even though you are free.
And finally, being homeless is knowing that tomorrow may not exist, yesterday left no reason to be remembered, and you only have this moment, because the next may simply not exist.
More than anyone else in the world, the homeless person has this awareness, he has only one chance to live in the now.
Happy or sad, sick or healthy, fed or hungry, hot or cold, just now.
To be a homeless person is to be immediatist, because in her the chance of existing in a little while is minimal, so you live now, then if it comes, thank God, if it doesn't come, the suffering, fear, pain is over, be it physical, emotional, sentimental or material.
Life passes in the blink of an eye, when we are fed, protected and loved, but it is an eternal torment, when we lack everything and everything.
It's lingering painful.
The hand of hatred comes in two ways in the life of the poor person, or he is put in mental institutions or on the streets, to suffer until he dies, without being heard, without being loved, without being respected.
The world puts psychopaths, narcissists, arrogant, and violent, in power and in the highest social classes, and the innocent and harmless, in asylums and on the streets, when it should be the other way around.
Until when, I don't know, but those who have been on the streets and in the insane asylums know that, unfortunately.
The human evil of ours is shocking.
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