André was the youngest of a radically religious family, made up of four people: His mother, a social worker widely recognized for the public services rendered in favor of minor offenders, by whom she spared no effort to free them from drugs and the world of crime , where they lived on the margins of society. His father, an orthodox evangelical pastor, extremely rigid as to the morality and liturgical customs of his church, and Rogério, his older brother who despised him because of his homosexuality.

The couple's two children were brought up from an early age according to the Pentecostal Christian doctrine imposed by the religious leader. Preparing them to continue their pastoral ministry in the future. However, he was never fully accepted and loved by his father, due to his effeminate way that made him different from the other brother. Disagreements were constant between the couple because of this and the family atmosphere was almost always unbearable:

 — You need to put this prejudice aside and accept our son as he is. Because it is not his fault that he was born that way!

 — It is not about prejudices I just defend what is right. How can I teach in my church that God condemns homosexuality if there is one inside my house?

 — God does not despise anyone. He may not even agree with what we practice, but He will not despise us for our weaknesses. Rather He will do everything to help us overcome them

 — You and your humanitarian concepts, always thinking that the human being is a victim of the situation in which he lives. Understand once and for all that God does not think like man, he has his own way of acting and his concepts are not based on our points of view, but on his own justice. Do you forget that because of the immorality of the ancient civilizations he destroyed entire cities?

 — This is what I have been trying to understand for several years and I have not reached any obvious conclusion: That God is the one who condemns and destroys people because of situations in which he himself placed them? After all, no one becomes a homosexual by choice, you are born that way!

— Now you're going to blame your son for being gay on God?

— Paulo Borges, don't you call our son gay!

— This ridiculous thing is not my son!

— The door of the room where the couple was at that time was not closed properly.

The thirteen-year-old was able to see his parents who argued about you.

— How do you still have the courage to stand on a pulpit and teach about the love of God to your faithful, acting in this way at home? This way things will not work out for us anymore, or try to stop this prejudice and learn to accept it the way it is, or ask for a divorce!

— Are you crazy, woman, do you have any idea of ​​the disaster that will cause my ministry with this attitude?

— I know, at least you will lose the right to exercise the role of pastor, and in my view, this is what you deserve for acting with such prejudice. The God you serve does not reflect the loving Jesus Christ I met in the Bible. He acts like a good Samaritan, taking care of people instead of condemning them because of their weaknesses, the one who shows us with his attitudes is ruthless and prejudiced!

— The God I know is love, but also justice! He did not create man to live in bondage to sin, nor to practice immorality! Homosexuality is an evil domination and must be contested by the church, the true children of the Lord must despise these things!

 — But it was the same God who made us who gave life to these people that you despise today!

 — Do not speak such blasphemy.

— Sueli, these aberrations did not come from God!

He walks away irritably, abandoning the discussion, realizing that it is impossible to convince her otherwise. After Paulo passes through the narrow corridor towards one of the three rooms in the house. André comes out of hiding and shows himself to be his mother. She who realizes that her son saw and heard the conversation she had with her father and, embracing him, tries to comfort him.

— Take it easy, my boy, one day everything will settle down, your father will still end up understanding the size of the mistake he is making.

And will leave all this prejudice aside. As always, listening to his mother's advice, he remained silent, as he knew that she was aware of the impossibility of that situation ending well between the two of them, he would never be accepted as a son by his father, his condition in that family would always be disgust and contempt because of in its strange, too delicate way.

These characteristics have always existed, but they became increasingly noticeable in his behavior after the arrival of adolescence, which left him exposed to mockery. Both from school friends and from other children his age who lived in the same neighborhood. And, as time went by, even adults came to criticize him harshly and call him gay or other low-ranking words. Rogério, the older brother. Was ashamed of his effeminate manner and, relying on his father's support, despised him. The boys at school took pleasure in treating him with disrespect and his brother saw everything with good eyes. Because he hated him.  

Every day, he was always going to leave school, making sure to have him around as a guarantee that he would be sure of the peevishness of the other students. But it was no use because he didn't even pay attention. As he lived nearby, it was not necessary to go by car with his mother, despite all the rejection coming from everywhere he went. Because I still found the strength to believe in a better future. Where it would be possible to earn people's respect, when that happened it could finally be accepted by them without having to wear masks or pretend to be what they never really were inside. But, before achieving such a victory, he would have many obstacles to overcome in his journey.

One day, after the physical education class that lasted beyond normal time, he was walking down the deserted street, with a lot of fruit trees planted on the central bed.  Between the two roads, under the scorching sun that morning, when he was approached by five boys who passed to ridicule him because of his different way. As much as he avoided outrage, remaining silent at all times, they insisted on humiliating him further. Tired of hearing the nasty words spoken by the attackers. André reacted by giving them answers in time for his injuries, and with that he aroused in them a great fury against himself, resulting in a brutal beating that earned him a black eye and several bruises on his face. body.

Upon arriving home in his broken clothes, he was beaten and kicked by the boys. And because she rolled so many times on the floor, escaping the beating with the help of some people who were passing by at the exact moment.  Maria, the maid, goes into despair and tries to assist the teenager as soon as possible. Being notified of what happened, Sueli returns home from work immediately and tries to talk to her son to try to understand what actually happened:

  — After all, what happened, André?

 As always, in the face of his mother's inquiries he kept silent — Please, my son, you need to explain to me what happened!

 — I think it's obvious, Mom, I was beaten on the street!

 — Yes, but who did this barbarity with you

 — What does it matter, even if they are punished and stop chasing me, others will come and do the same or maybe even worse. The truth is, my father seems to be right, I really am a freak that arouses hatred in people!

 — André Borges, never say that again, I forbid you to express yourself in this way! Know that you are a normal person like any other, do not let anyone make you feel inferior, it is not!

 — It is not about inferiority but about being different, I am a boy with girlish characteristics and people cannot accept that. It's not my fault for being like that, in fact I would even like to be like the other boys, but I can't!

— My son, you do not need to change your way of being by the imposition of those who are unable to accept what their minds cannot understand. People often throw stones at everything that surprises them, and homosexuality is still a source of amazement for the vast majority of them.

— Sometimes I ask God why he made me like this. Does he take pleasure in seeing me suffer, being disowned by everyone around me?

 — My love, stop bothering yourself with these questions, sometimes it becomes difficult to find answers to so many doubts

— In short: Does he make me a being who scares people and does not commit to giving any explanation about it?

— We do not want to contest the works of his hands

— What is this unjust God who makes some to mock of others?

Does he have fun seeing his creatures being mocked and humiliated by those he gave credit for being perfect?

— Son, try to rest a little, you are very exhausted and depressed

— Depressive, mom. I just got beaten up by some guys who just disagree with my sexuality and do you think I should be satisfied with everything that happened to me?

— Calm down, I didn't mean to imply that!

— But that's what I understood!

— Be more patient, little by little everything will be resolved

— You ask me for patience because you know that my case is awkward, I am condemned to be a source of scorn forever!

The woman embraces the teenager with the tenderness. That only a mother could give her at that moment, she perceives the discomfort caused by the bruises caused on her body. Bruised by the stripes of his enemies, and avoids a stronger affection. She understands her need to be alone and walks away, leaving him isolated in his room.

Never before had he seen such bitterness in him, the hatred that burned in his eyes was visible, the revolt over the life of rejection finally dominated him. Sueli heads towards the living room, where Rogério and some friends watched a football game, without any remorse for what he had done. After politely asking for visitors to leave. He asks his son for explanations for his failure to protect his younger brother:

— Your attitude is shameful how did you allow your brother to be a victim of such violence?

 — And what should I do to protect your little boy from the heart, walk hand in hand with him so that no one touches him?

 — Rogério Borges, you respect me!

 — Are you going to blame me now for everything that happens to this brat?

 — You are as prejudiced as your father, criticize your brother as if he were an inferior being, just because you are different

 — This kid walks around behaving like a fag, shaming his family and we have to resent it as if it were the most natural thing in the world?

 — André is from your family

 — He doesn't need to be understood but corrected, he has to assume the posture of the man he is and stop walking around like a bitch!

 — Stop, don't talk that way about your brother!

 — I'm sorry, but I can't express myself in any other way, because I'm very ashamed to have you as a brother!

 — He is not to blame for being born effeminate, my son, nobody chooses to be like that!

 — I totally agree, but we only remain in a certain condition if we want to. We have the option of not being what we were born predestined. If he fights against this moral defect, he will be able to break free

 — Homosexuality cannot be seen as a defect in people's morality, it is a human condition that needs to be better accepted and understood

 — All right, I see that my arguments do not convince you otherwise, but do not expect me or my father to support this human condition in André. For us this is nothing more than a satanic domination in which he lives enslaved, something that must be combated in the light of the Word of God, because for the Lord homosexuality is an abomination!

The young man ends his arguments and leaves that room with clear dissatisfaction. The hatred on his face very much reminiscent of his father's attitude towards this matter days before. Sueli knew that it would not be easy to convince them. Make them aware that André was the victim of fate. And not guilty of having such characteristics. The teenager remained at home for the rest of the week without going to school, as the signs of the beating were still visible. He spent most of his time locked in his room, reading his books. Listening to your music and watching your favorite movies. And avoiding having anyone around who offended him because he was different from other boys.

True, what he was really looking for was, to find answers to his condition, he needed to understand why he was born that strange way. His soul was that of a man, but his body, being also masculine, reacted like that of a woman. That, was what irritated his father and older brother. The closer his youth grew, the more and more he felt the greater effects of his homosexuality.

 He was attracted to the opposite sex and knew that if his critics realized this, it would get even more complicated for him inside that house. It was too difficult to have to live with your fears and doubts in silence, talking to yourself. With no one to share his confusions of the soul that was tormented inside him. He needed to talk about the misunderstood desires that were beginning to grow inside him, similar to a flame that burned every part of his body, as if hell itself swallowed him alive.

The months passed and Christmas came, when the families got together. The neighbors were more affectionate with each other, a good opportunity to try to make new friends. Well, at least for normal people, every year it was the same thing: Women prepared a big supper where they lived and there, they met with their relatives to celebrate Christmas Eve. Before midnight the young people went out in search of girls to enjoy at dawn. And he, repressed, spent all the time sitting in some corner watching the movement. Couples who dated or talked about anything and laughed and fraternized on that important occasion.

The people there did not usually pay attention to him, he was seen as a haunt by the neighbors. That they forbade their children to even approach him, so prejudiced they were that they acted in a ridiculous.  Way when they thought that a simple verbal contact could contaminate them with their femininity. But that night everything would be different, because a new character would become part of his life.

 — Hi, I'm Henrique, I live next door

 — Surprised by the sudden approach of the neighbor, he responds intimidated

 — Hi, I'm André ...

 — Are you going to spend the whole night sitting there?

 — Without many options ...

 — Just got one, come on, let's go to my house and play a little

 — Sorry, I'm not very good at games, my brother Rogério is the one who understands this well, he lives playing with his friends

  — I'm not interested in playing with your brother.

 But with you, stop shyness and follow me!

 — I need to warn my mother!

 — How old are you?

 — Thirteen ...

 — And at that age do you still have to tell the mother that you are next door?

 — Ok, let's go...

From that moment on they became great friends, Henrique was a cheerful, spontaneous boy and without any prejudice with his strange way of being and this meant that for the first time he did not feel left out. However, that friendship would have something to say. It would generate many controversies, mainly on the part of those who considered him a pervert. The parents of the new friend were very different from their relatives and other residents, totally modern, they did not limit their son as far as friendships were concerned.

They were nurses and spent most of their time absent, a widowed and childless aunt took care of the house and the sixteen-year-old teenager all day. In the new academic year, Henrique and André started to study at the same school and their friendship started to bother many people. Even the same ones who beat him a long time ago. On Thursday afternoon the two were walking on their way to the neighborhood where they lived, on the outskirts, when a group of boys and girls started to mock them.

 Accusing them of being a gay couple. Gradually, verbal aggressions started to become physical, they threw stones, and anything that was within reach, against the two teenagers and hit them, causing serious bruising. Some people, outraged by the scene they witnessed.  Decided to intervene and chase away the aggressors. With injuries to their bodies and heads, they were taken to an emergency post for medication. The latest events have prompted parents to adopt more drastic measures against the attackers and have reported them to the authorities, who have placed police vehicles near the school. Their friendship only increased and they lived together all the time, arousing malicious comments even at home:

 — It seems that now he came out for good

 — Leave the lives of others alone, Laércio!

 — It was just what was needed, a pastor with a gay son in the house, what moral will he have to indoctrinate the church or rebuke the errors of the faithful?

 — Stop taking care of other people's lives and start worrying more about Roberto!

 — Our son is a sensible boy he will not get involved with these people!

 — We never know what can happen tomorrow, surely our neighbor never imagined having to live this shameful situation in the family

 — Because for me this is a lack of strong pulse in raising children, they put too much hand on them and look at the result, they became two immoral!

 — Gays, man, these days they're called gays!

 — Not at all, they may even modernize the name they give to these aberrations, but they will remain the same filth as always!

 — Prejudiced man!

 — I have no prejudice it is really disgusting of this filthy race! And I'm going to warn you, woman, don't even think about going back to the church of that little pastor with my son. I don't want him involved with these people!

 — Stop being boring, man, the church is not to blame for the pastor having a gay son!

 — Yes, the bible does not teach that God condemns these things, because, then, they accept it without taking any action?

 — And what do you think we should do?

 — Expel that bastard with his family from there!

 — Got crazy? You can't expel a pastor like that from a church!

 — Stop bullshit, Filomena, expel yourself to the president of power! How much more a pastor! Now, be patient!

The man is enraged by the conversation and his wife just watches him, disagreeing with his conclusions. However, not only Laércio, but several other parents began to disagree with the idea of ​​admitting their relatives to remain in the same church where André congregated. There should be no prejudice among Christians, but it seemed to be the place of greatest rejection of him, now at the age of fourteen.  The celebration of the one who everyone said was her boyfriend.

 It was a quick meeting and counted only with Henrique and his parents.  His family did not attend and his mother, the only one who believed he was present, was prevented from attending. She was arrested for her husband's teasing, disgusted by the comments about his possible involvement with the neighbor's son.

Rogério started to despise his brother even more after these comments and advised his father to expel him from home. Alerting you that you could otherwise lose the respect of your church. The idea pleased the Pastor, as he already perceived the negative signs that the presence of his youngest son caused in his ministry.

So much for seeing the number of believers in the temple reduce every day. As for the insinuations heard from other workers, during the monthly meetings held at the conventions, when he was indirectly accused of being conniving with sin within the congregation.

 And due to the many hype, the denomination's leadership gave the pastor an ultimatum. He informed him to be more energetic with the two young men, accused of the practice of homosexuality. That they were immediately prevented from living with the other members in the Christian temple. At home, facing the pressure he was experiencing, the religious leader and his wife began to live in constant disagreements:

— Everything is the fault of this bastard.

I tried so hard to build a good reputation in front of my church and my superiors. To now see me in a shameful situation like this!

— He is our son they need to understand that we cannot abandon him. You forget how the ministry works, they impose their own rules and we have to stick to it!

— God made it clear in his Word that he abhors homosexuality. From that it is the duty of a Christian to keep away from this practice

— I will not turn my back on my son to please anyone, not even this prejudiced God that you say you serve!

Even in the face of so many problems, André was still happy to fully experience his first friendship, alongside someone who understood and accepted his condition. As a person who had different characteristics from other teenagers of his own age.And, in fact, because he was too involved in his new phase of life, he didn't even notice all the confusion. Even with everything going on around him, until Rogério decided to charge his younger brother for a more responsible attitude in the face of the problem:

 — With all this confusion going on and you remain oblivious to the guilt you have, not caring to prevent our father's name from being criticized by unbelievers and he may even lose his church?

— What fault are you talking about?

— Don't be cynical, you know very well that all this confusion with our father happens because of you, with this mania of wanting to be a woman!  Now the whole church is turning against us and they want to punish him for things that he has nothing to do with

— But I didn't do anything to these people, because they hate me so much?

— They hate you because you were born a man and chose to live like the bastard of a gay man, dating another one just like you!

— Got mad? I don't date anyone Henrique and I are just friends!

— You think it deceives me, everyone here in the neighborhood doesn't comment on anything other than the fact that the pastor's son lives with another guy!

— My goodness, but what a mean of these people, they keep accusing me of things I don't do, this isn't happening!

— So, for a change, why don't you try to date a girl instead of spending all day glued to this kid next door?

— I'm not going to parade around with a girl just to please you or whoever it is!

— But of course not, it would be impossible for an immoral of your brand to want any involvement with a woman!

— Look you may be surprised

Rogério words, although true, caused indignation in André and because he feels humiliated, he tries to attack his brother without success, because with a much inferior physique and without the ability to fight, he was barely able to make movements that further increased his brother's mockery:

— Clumsy lady, look how she fights, looking like a girl!

— You bastard, just treat me like that because you know I don't have the strength to face you!

— Who says you want to be an ox instead of assuming the male role?

The brother's harsh criticisms caused him deep hurt and these scars would take decades to heal. Although he was actually born gay and effeminate, the teenager was still completely pure, a virgin and had never practiced any kind of intimacy, whether it be with people of the same sex or the opposite.

 Soon, he felt extremely hurt by the vulgar terms used by Rogério. He carried within him the great secret of being in love with his best friend, who was also heterosexual. But he never let this feeling on him or anyone else. For there was a constant confusion of emotions within him that he sometimes failed to understand, and he wasn't sure about many things about himself.

One of them would be to understand how being effeminate he might have felt desires for his new math teacher, who had a flawless body to cause madness in any man. She loved to show off wearing glued clothes to get attention. On the other hand, whenever she was with her friend, she was attracted to him, she loved to admire his bulky biceps and his muscular legs.

He disguised as much as he could to disguise his evil desire to shoot her in the arms. On one occasion they were playing games and sitting very close to each other on the sofa in the living room. He felt his limbs burning so badly was he willing to surrender to the boy, who began to insinuate himself through a sudden and half-hearted conversation:

    — A friend of mine confessed to me being gay

    — What friend, André? I thought you only had me as a friend ...

    — A guy I always talk to on social media

    — Ha! Got it...

    — He said he was facing hell at home, with his family

    — Because if I were gay, I would never reveal this to anyone!

    — And how would I live?

    — I looked in the mirror and said to myself: Dude, you may even have been born with the look of a woman, but take a look at your appearance and see that you have a man's body, so be a man!

  Henrique's answer to his question confused his mind and retracted his feelings towards him. When he realized that, even without showing prejudice for his effeminate manner, the boy showed repudiation to the simple idea of being gay, imagine what he would answer if he asked him anything. About the possibility of a supposed homo relationship between the two. There was a brief silence, until Henrique resumed the conversation

— I passed the stage, at last!

— Wow, man, you scared me!

— You look like a girl, André, scared for nothing!

He, although older, seemed to have less maturity than André. After all, he didn't realize that his friend was a girl inside a boy's body. Then they stayed for hours listening to the songs of their favorite band and repeating the stanza of the favorite song, which said: Not even if I speak the language of men, and speak the language of angels, without love I would be nothing, it is just love, it’s just love, it’s peace and doesn’t get angry! ...

 — Nobody sings and plays like these guys!

 — True, they are the best!

 There was a huge affinity between them, they liked practically the same things and agreed on almost everything, it was a perfect friendship. But fate, who wrote their stories, was secretly plotting to separate them, and one day the sad news came:

 — I came to say goodbye to you, friend, my parents were transferred to another city and I have to leave

 — Are you serious?

 — Very serious, we left tomorrow!

 — What the hell, soon you, my only friend will have to leave?

 — Stay cool, there is internet for us to stay connected

 — Is not the same thing...

 The next morning, they were gathered at the starting point, and with tears the two friends hugged each other in the sad farewell that radically changed. The direction of that friendship, when he returned home with the visible expression of sadness on his face, he locked himself in his room and again he found his old companion in the empty hours, loneliness. Who readily agreed to give him all the attention he needed, Even bringing her nostalgia to torment him with the memories of the friend who left, from that day on, André's life was again only discouragement and persecution due to his homosexual condition.

 And the malicious comments of the prejudiced people who accused him of having an intimate affair with Henrique, his stay in the temple was denied by the church. Her father had to accept the decision of the majority in order not to lose his position as pastor. Being immediately removed from ecclesiastical ministry. The faithful themselves demanded a more energetic stance against the profane, in order to avoid further scandals. However, he had been trying to get around the situation without having to punish his son severely, expelling him from the church. But there came a time when he was no longer able to protect him from the wrath of other Christians.

 And even of the unbelievers who frequented the place and made protests against his stay in the house of prayer. And from then on, he was prevented from attending services and singing in the teen choir, as the boys' parents feared that he would negatively influence their children. Sueli, outraged by the injustice done to her son, decided to ask for the floor during a Sunday night service and took the opportunity to protest:

 “Tonight, men and women considered as Christians are gathered here, in this temple. People considered saved through the sacrifice made by Christ on the cross of Calvary. People who were once found by him thrown into the spiritual gutter, completely soiled by their crimes and sins, unworthy of divine salvation If it weren't for the incomparable mercy of the Lord they would still be in the mud they were taken from, but out of love God rescued them from the shadows of death and today they walk in white robes in a world dominated by evil. Now, after being rescued from eternal damnation, forgiven and clean, they refuse to act with the same mercy from which they have benefited.

With which it was possible for God to forgive their sins, so that later they could also forgive the faults and endure the faults of their fellow men! My son, André, is also a human being. However, as well as thousands of other young people and teenagers worldwide. He was born different from the boys of his age. To be more precise, my brothers and sisters, he has been effeminate since his birth, he did not become that by choice, nor did he choose to be that way. But it is a victim of what the same, God that you and I serve.

The same that one day found us thrown into the filth of sin and changed our luck, allowing us, today, the right to be accepted as his heirs, chose for him in this life! Yes, my beloved ones, because all of us. Human beings, we are their creatures, we were all equally created in their image and likeness. Regardless of who we are on this earth as people. It doesn't matter whether rich or poor, white or black, saved or lost, faithful or unfaithful. Even so, we will always be your creatures and your likeness.

So, explain to me: Because the worst criminals are forgiven for their crimes and given opportunities to live again in the same society where they once committed various atrocities. And someone, for being homosexual, deserves to be penalized? To the point that you can't go to God's house and have the same social rights as anyone else? Were they worse than criminals?  What crime did André and all the teenagers his age commit? Why did they go so far as to be repudiated in such a cruel way by this church that calls itself the Bride of Christ? Shouldn't we give the world, outside, the same example of love and piety that God gave us before?”  

Sueli outburst in the temple pulpit moved some, who, after the service, went to her to apologize for the prejudiced attitude they had towards the teenager, and caused indignation in others, who came out of the house of prayer murmuring against the message heard. Accusing the mother of supporting her son's sinful stance instead of fighting it there was also great criticism against the pastor's inertia in the face of his wife's attitude, and this resulted in severe punishments.