“No! I screamed hysterically. I can't do it, Kelly” I walked in circles. In the end I collapsed, broken, on the sofa. Everything stopped at the wrong time, I felt at a dead end. Life pushed me towards him. She didn't want to see him, find him again, and have to hold his gaze in an unreadable struggle.

“It was going to happen at any moment, you have to assume it as an adult” He assured sitting next to me.

“You do not get it. I pointed out with a bitter smile” Anger, worry and anxiety all inside of me, a cold war.

"Believe me so, Marianne" she refuted, caressing my shoulders. When you see him, you don't have to go to the point and tell him about Isaac, everything will be at the right time, when you think it's convenient.

“No, I'll talk to Anastasia and ask her to reassign the interview to Valentina” I spoke determined.

“No more evasion, Marianne. Face the situation, and don't hide like a coward” she advised with that tone of a mother who wants the best for her son, but no, it was my friend trying to convince me of something I didn't really understand “Look, it's a sign and you should pay attention to it”

“Not all the signs are good and I have a feeling that the worst will happen, in case I decide to go to his office” exasperated buffet.

He shook his head quickly, in disagreement, his expressive green eyes almost bulging out of their sockets.

“It's what you believe, don't change anything, do the job like a professional”

"I…I'm not sure."

“I have also been afraid, terrified of getting on stage and playing in front of many people. The only thing that gives me courage is trusting myself, I know I'm good and if I'm wrong, it's okay” she kissed me on the cheek and got up “Sean, you must be expecting me by now”

"I understand, go easy”

"Think about it, friend” he recommended walking away.

I just gave a nod, but it didn't promise anything.

“Mommy I'm hungry” And there was Isaac, my secret, the knot of this story that I didn't dare to unravel.

“Give me a second” I asked with a sigh.

…

The month of April didn't catch me off guard, although it felt like a thick layer of ice covering my skin. There was an extraordinary spring outside, but inside I was sinking withered. In front of the mirror, I found that Mariané without armor, vulnerable and fearful.

I was the same again, maybe I never stopped being the same, and I forgot it.

I adjusted the skirt of my pale pink dress, beautiful without leaving aside the subtle and sober. With my reddish hair, I made a twisted bun on my head. I gave myself one last review, giving a smooth turn; the black Louboutins that I decided to wear were comfortable. So, you would have no problem walking.

I took my things and left in a hurry. Outside I found my son finishing his cereal. I had no intention of eating even a bite, nothing. So much nerve flowing through my blood, pumping my heart too much, I became an automaton. Forcing each smile, I tried to keep Isaac from noticing the horrifying nervousness assaulting my being.

"Sweetie, hurry up” I gave him a couple of minutes, then he grabbed his backpack and we flew out. During the drive, not even the background music, nor his chatter about sports cars, attenuated the fear he felt. My answers were robotic, without the slightest interest in what I was talking about.

The traffic light changed to red, then.

"When I grow up can I have a car?" he inquired.

“Yes of course”

"Mommy, why are you so cute?" he asked suddenly.

I looked at him with a half smile.

"Thank you, I thought that's how I looked every day, however, you're right" I caressed her dark hair, immediately straightening the strands that I messed up. I will do an interview.

»I will interview your father, Isaac«.

“Brilliant. Will you go find me?”

"I don't know." I pursed my lips “But in case I can't, I'll have Kelly pick you up”

"Okay, at least tell Aunt Kelly to buy me an ice cream on the way out, okay?" she begged, joining her hands, I admired those little blue eyes out of the corner of her eye “Please please please…”

“OK.” It was not necessary to beg, I rarely denied her anything, because I couldn't resist those shining sapphires.

Arriving at school, he took off his seat belt. He pounced kissing me sweetly. I filled my lungs with his aroma, recovering a value, iron, with his embrace. Urged to gather my courage, I prolonged the detour.

"I love you; I love you infinitely, Isaac" I declared affected.

"Me too, mom" But you're suffocating me...

Giggling, I released him.

"I'm sorry, be good, although I shouldn't even tell you, you always do, sweetie” I blurted out squeezing his cheek.

He gave a low snort and looked at the watch on his left arm.

"I'll miss Miss Patterson's class…" she said with some concern.

"Okay, come on, have a nice day” Good luck with the interview. He said and closed the door.

I inhaled deeply, trying to oxygenate my mind. When he was out of sight, I gripped the wheel and resumed driving.

At the foot of the massive ninety-story building, I felt a dangerous vertigo, the merciless way it snaked through me. As soon as I saw it, I would be stunned, I had an omen that when I observed it, I would not bear the scratch inside. I wanted to roll up the car window again and go home, call Anastasia and explain that I was unwell.

Perhaps a contingency at Isaac's school would sound believable. No, it wasn't true. Only an absolute coward was capable of inventing that lie.

I would face the situation.

A young man with an indefinable expression approached leaning towards my window.

"Good morning, how can I help you?" I returned the greeting and took my identification from the board. I showed it to him, speaking at the same time the string of words that he used to say in a formal tone.

“Marianne Lombardi, journalist for Magnani magazine, I'm here for the interview with Ismail Al-Murabarak. Where do I park the car?”

"You could get off here, I'll take care of the rest" she winked at me, I frowned doubtfully. I'm the valet parking.

The inscription on his uniform confirmed that he was an employee of the automotive company.

“Ah, I see” I took my things, got out of the Nissan and allowed him to take my place. The boy affably explained to me that he would be waiting for me to leave, then he would bring the car. I wanted to give him a tip, but he had already sped up.

I advanced to the entrance, holding my bag in which I carried the iPad, a pen and a notebook in case the Tablet did not have a charge, which I did not make sure of last night. At least I had the questions written on paper, otherwise I wouldn't know what to improvise. My memory was going to go blank, no matter how good it was memorizing and learning, in the same way I would go into a tailspin before him.

The tall building was imposing, attractive and modern. Al-Murabarak. Inc, I could read in gold letters, standing out proudly. It was not for less, one of the best automotive companies should have failed to do it justice. The doors slid back before me, two feet to go through the entrance. Inside, everyone was moving from one side to another, in the bustle of work. I spotted the receptionist and hurriedly approached her. The young woman connected with me, an intriguing crossroads as she lowered her attention to the badge I pinned to my chest.

"Good morning, Miss Lombardi. What I can help?” said the black-haired woman holding a faint smile.

I no longer needed to introduce myself.

"Good morning, I have an appointment with Mr. Al-Murabarak. I explained holding my breath” He just nodded, then tapped on the Mac and stepped on a button within reach, it was the intercom.

“Wait, the secretary hasn't arrived yet, but I'll let her assistant know”

“Yes, do not worry, I shrugged” She continued on her business, it didn't take long for her to talk to another person through the device.

"Has the journalist arrived?"

“That's right, Danna, I need you to tell Mr. Al-Murabarak.

“Understood, you just broke into your office, anything else?” The receptionist looked at me and I shook my head.

"That's all, thanks" After hanging up, he turned to me, the boss's office is on the penultimate floor, it's eighty-ninth, do you need me to run it?

I swallowed thickly, the aversion to heights did not stop seeming to me a suffocating scenario.

“Eighty-nine?!”

"No, I think I can do it on my own, thanks."

"Okay, happy day."

“Same to you, I responded by turning on my axis”

»Here we go, Marianne«.

Inside the metal box, I inhaled and exhaled until I calmed down. It would only be a minute at most. At the top he would forget the exorbitant height. Someone else entered, it was a woman. I studied her helplessly: black hair, perfectly outlined gray eyes, and she was wearing a peculiar suit.

“Are you Marianne?” He asked, looking at me in surprise.

I had never seen her in my life, so I was scared that the female knew my name. I mentally slapped myself when I remembered that it had the inscription with my data, but she never looked at the identification.

“How do you know my name?”

“Well, it says it there” He pointed to my chest.

"Yes, but why did you ask, then?"

“Forget it…”

“No who are you?” I insisted.