Fucking SuperiorityBefore half past twelve, I go into the kitchen. It is a challenge to focus on a dish that is to your liking and that is not difficult to prepare. Everyone likes chicken, I don't think he is the exception. I remember Zinnia making it for her a few times at lunch, and I feel more confident about making it. Lucky me that I came across Zinnia's recipe book, how strange that I forgot it here. There are an infinite number of options, among which chicken stands out in various preparations."Orange chicken" it says there, listed as Silvain's favorite Asian dish.I inform myself by looking at the recipe and procedure several times. It seems like a piece of cake, since in action everything is a little complex, if not impossible. The pressure on you, the obligation for everything to be perfect, doesn't help. Mmmm, it smells good, I try it and find it just right.I keep the minutes in my mind, I confirm it on the screen of my phone. In fact, the exact time has passed when ever

The proposal"And he locks himself in a room so empty of reality, where the echo is silent and decay a weak company that leads him to eternal solitude."...I had a nightmare, a nonsense that went away when I opened my eyes. I surround the room with my orbs, from that angle I capture the reign of darkness. The blinds are open and I see various lights from other buildings. New York, "the city that never sleeps", that's why it fits like a glove.It's not as late as it seems, here it's barely ten at night, and in Los Angeles, three hours less. I'll call Mila, she hasn't contacted me, maybe she's forgotten, in any case I have reason to worry.“Mila”“Excuse me, everything is in order, I'm sorry for not letting you know as I promised. Still not sleeping?”“Yes, I woke up suddenly and decided to mark you, I'm glad everything is going well. I figured you forgot to tell me, don't worry”“It's just that I haven't seen my parents in weeks and yet I've gotten emotional, now I'm with dad in the h

"The music..." he mentions, a slower song casually begins to play, the couples are piling up, we are not the only ones. Let yourself go, everything will flow naturally...“You make it all look so easy”“And you keep seeing the impossibility, Aryanna” —he comments, I'm not angry, he's absolutely right.“I'm sorry I can not avoid it”“I know you can do it”Soon, the crash of his chest against mine begins, we move to the rhythm of a dance that is too slow and we look into each other's eyes. It overwhelms, we find ourselves in a bubble that does not break, it keeps seeing me so deep, causing a whirlpool in my stomach, difficulty moving, so I stop, it is impossible to continue, I can't take it anymore.“I'm sorry”“What's happening?” He gets restless, he studies my features, I will surely fail if I make excuses, he has that psychological spark that reads minds, gestures and my body language expresses the truth to him.Finally it leaves my waist, I can regain normality of my breathing.“I-I

DominantMy blood paralyzes, the vitality of the air is gone, a dense fog crushes my senses. I am no longer at the foot of the hill, I have already fallen before him: a predator. Which doesn't do good.Who cares knowing in defeat when sanity is gone?Soon, the ashes fly and the insects flutter on me. A bit of subtlety that I wouldn't employ exists.The emotion is already a mixture, the pernicious is an illicit substance that I hope will lead me to an overdose. The flame devours me. I no longer reside, I no longer exist.But this doesn't mean anything.Silvain can't give more.For now I forget my fears, I push reality away, I stay with this thing that makes me fly."The impact of the fall will hurt."...Anchored in the memory of less than three hours ago, I blink in the light darkness. My palm rests on his bare chest, part of my hair messy there, I try to separate myself but one of his arms goes through my waist. I give up, I don't want to wake him up. His chest rises and falls leisur

A War CryThe doubts have not been completely cleared up, Gaspar is right, I alone must decide. I still have these days to think about it. On Thursday when Mila returns I will also tell her about it, not in details, because she doesn't know anything about what Silvain does, nor does she know his aberrant way of being. Sigh, I go for that shower that my body is crying out for. And I'm already starting to look for what outfit to wear for tonight's outing. Assuring that it is only a friendly meeting, I have not been able to refuse his invitation. Just because it's not something serious, but to get away from the routine, doesn't mean I'm going to wear just any clothes.I want to be pretty, look good.The box of chocolates is still in the kitchen, closed and with the perfect bow undone. I dare to eat one of those expensive chocolates. In my mouth, the sweet melts, the delicious filling escapes in one bite. I still don't believe Silvain sent this to me....The night has fallen, as the fabr

The portraitThe afternoon is falling, the blue sky turning orange and pink is captivating. The idea of going to take a look around those parts grows immeasurably. Nobody sees me, why not do it? Sooner than I thought, I finished my work for the day, so I'm free, I'm still here with plenty of time, I have to keep to the schedule. I've already showered, I just have to wait for the clock to strike five. By the way, my cell phone is in the room. I advance on the well-kept grass, I decide to take off my shoes, it is pleasant to feel my feet sinking into the grass. Every so often I look around, afraid of being seen. I am already close to the wooded area, I enter amazed by the imminence of the trees."What am I doing?"Maybe I should go back, I don't want to, I'm still out there, knowing that I can get myself into trouble. Anyway, I can't stop now, I've walked for a few minutes and finally, before my eyes is that cabin that has that exterior appearance that evokes something completely countr

Its objective“Are you going to stay silent? Aren't you going to tell me anything?” he throws, exasperated, I get out of bed and look for my shoes.To think that he brought me in his arms to his room leaves me perplexed and confused. It doesn't seem real, and I don't consider it a dream, with him so angry I see myself in a nightmare. My head hurts a little; contemptuously he gives me the shoe, and I see it. Their blues are darkened. He has no compassion for me, and I should reply, he has portrayed me without my consent, he should be ashamed."What ridiculous things am I thinking?"Of course I shouldn't have gone to the cabin.“I'm sorry if? I'm sorry for what I did, it wasn't right...” I say, I don't regret much, just accidentally being locked up... I frown, did Silvain lock me up? “Has it been you?”It was preordained.“You asked for it, for sticking your nose into my affairs. You don't know how upset I am, Aryanna. It's my place, it's my privacy and you've broken the rules”“W-what

Your PrideI open my eyes at dawn. Light filters through the curtains in the room. There is no one next to me, which should not surprise me. Silvain has already left, leaving me alone. I sit on the bed and cover my chest with the sheets, then I try to wake up all my senses; Something is different from the other night to yesterday, two things: there is no regret in me and I have felt many things, so much so that today I feel different.This is pathetic, I want to start crying, because I know that Silvain is only looking for that, he has already achieved it with me twice. I shouldn't have, but I already involved emotion in the fleeting and my heart in the impossible.I don't know if I can get out unscathed.Sigh.My stupid and deluded side thinks I see him enter that door at any moment. It doesn't happen, the only thing that passes is time and I must hurry to leave this room. I get my twill dress in one part, I put it on, also the heels and with my fingers I comb my messy hair. In my op

Your DangerWhy do I hear those voices? Murmurs, screams, a commotion that warn of the collision; Even so, the insidious words that contradict you while fiercely questioning you are insufficient to save you. I am a fugitive from stability, I need a refuge, and I am walking towards the danger zone.Its danger.This slow Wednesday, it goes away little by little and what's left I manage not to get too bored. It happens that in moments of lethargy I tend to think too much and that is tiring, the truth is there is a point where you get tired and want to blank your mind, however, there is always a phrase returned, a word spinning around in your head, turns crazy at the wrong time; In short, you will never have a blank head, that is not possible.For example: Here I am, on the terrace, sitting on a deck chair with the laptop in my lap. Without effort, I type, I try very hard not to recapitulate in my life, in what happens to me with Silvain, it is a lost job. Soon, all kinds of things involv

FeverBefore I fall asleep, ideas are woven, clear echoes that escalate in me, repetitive... I have been able to transfer what I wrote on Mila's laptop, now I can continue on mine and continue along that path to which derived inspiration pushes me of what I experienced and the little I know about Silvain.I can't believe I'm jumping into that. Writing a draft about my boss has suddenly arisen and I am eager to follow it, perhaps this fuels illusions, because my soul is suffering from emotional famine. Behind closed doors, I am calm and start writing. My fingers dance on that keyboard until dawn, when I notice how late it is, I decide to stop and rest, but staying until that hour without sleeping a wink has consequently left me with insomnia.The aftermath in the morning comes with a headache and exhaustion. I barely shower and relieve myself before getting ready. It happens that when I check my phone I have four missed calls from Silvain, horrified I open my eyes wide, he also left a